Valentine's Day: A Call to Love Yourself

Image of man and dog sitting on a beach. Raleigh Psychotherapy, Counseling, Valentine's Day, Katherine Broadway

I find the time surrounding Valentine's to be a difficult one for many people. Those who are in relationships have expectations which do not get met. Those who are not in relationships find it a time of longing and desire. The predominate feeling I hear during this time of the year is disappointment. Not everyone but many dread this day.

It seems to me that the point of the day is to love. We all want to be loved so much that we forget how important it is to love others. Not just our family, lovers and friends, but the human race as a whole.

We forget that the most important person to love is ourselves.

The Beetles had a hit song in the 1967, “All you Need is Love.” The lyrics were relatively simple, especially the chorus:

“All you need is love, all you need is love

All you need is love, love, love is all you need”

Life is more complicated than this, but giving love is a good start on order to have a satisfying life. Begin with loving yourself and expand that love to others. It is amazing how much love we will find as we do this. My hope for you is that you can show yourself all the love you need today.

I publish this poem and its history as my Valentine to you.

I hope as you read these words they will be with you as you go through

your week and they will help you show yourself all the love

you need.

The following poem is like so many things you will find on the internet these days. Its origins are credited to at least two writers. One is a woman, Veronica A. Shoffstall . One is a man, Jorge Luis Borges.

I could find little on Veronica A Shoffstall except that she wrote it. In her version she uses the words:

“With your head up and your eyes ahead

with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child.”

There is extensive information about Jorgus Luis Borges. He was an Argentinian poet and it was originally published in Spanish. In Borges' version he says:

“And you begin to accept your defeats

With your head up and your eyes open”.

There are two other slight differences I found. The form that was used in each poem is different and the titles are different. Borges’ title is, “You Learn”. Shoffstall names her poem, “After a While.”

You can decide what you think about the origins of the poem, I have included both.

“You Learn”

After a while you learn the subtle difference

Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,

And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning

And company doesn’t mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts

And presents aren’t promises,

And you begin to accept your defeats

With your head up and your eyes open

With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,

And you learn to build all your roads on today